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Pot Holes




Now I must admit like everyone else these here things called potholes is a bit of an annoyance. However, like most things they started out as good intentions, so I feel the need to pass on the historical significance of these tire busting, back breaking, make a record on the radio skip things we call potholes.

Now just to clarify things this information was gleaned from none other than Pa Moonshine and is about a mutual relative. I believe Pa said it was a third cousin twice removed by another mother's uncle she didn't have. Now bear in mind Pa was enjoying the fruits of his labor and I may or may not have been somewhat slightly under the influence of said corn squeezins. That being said I cannot testify as to any of the facts or the fact that I am even repeating what Pa said correctly.

Anyhow it appears we may or may not be kin to one infamous Freddy Forkel Fudpucker {most likely we are kin aint no way there is another family like ours}. Now not much is known about Freddy as he was employed by and even worked for one of those secret government agencies {fortunately he was not one of them revamanures or Pa would not have even talked about such a blasphemy upon our family}. Freddy was well known for his work on sailboat fuel and having designed and built the first ever portable foxhole. It was his work on foxholes for the military that led to further experimentations and the transition of its use in the civilian world, but it did have its hazards.

Now one of the first hazard Freddy had to overcome was a ways and means to safely transport these portable foxholes as if a soldier just dropped it in his backpack, it went right to work creating a hole and soldiers would lose valuable gear as it fell out without their knowledge. The other hazard he had to deal with was ensuring that once the foxholes were placed in the desired position was containing their size and proper manipulation so that they could be adjusted to fit just about any size needed. With proper training these portable foxholes were used with great success and Freddy was able to keep the rights to his work when he retired.

Upon retiring from his government job Freddy purchased a large chunk of land in Oklahoma somewhere between Frog and Nowata and established the town of Fudpucker{which due to the nature of Freddy's government work cannot be found on any map}. As he enjoyed his days of leisure, he put his inventions to use. The sailboat fuel created a nice relaxing breeze with the exception of those rare occasions when the ingredients were not measured properly creating a terrible storm and fell into an unestablished foxhole which has caused havoc in Oklahoma ever since {I'd say he was the founder of the tornado, but Pa seemed a bit nervous as some say that a bit of moonshine might have added to the mishap}.

I'm sure by now you are scratching your head going just what does this have to do with potholes? and just where the good intention of said potholes come into play. Well after his retirement Freddy became well known for his conversion of the foxhole into premade post holes as they made fencing a whole lot easier and quicker but not only that they made putting in a pond pretty easy as well. So far so good right? Well Freddy became friends with some of the folks working on the now famous Route 66 and that's where things went wrong. You see these folks were about to be put out of work as the quality of the road was just so good they was afraid it might last forever. {now Pa went kind of silent for a minute as what happened next came about after Freddy and few of these folks had a sit-down discussion that there was no denying did indeed involve partaking in just a bit of high-quality moonshine}

Now in an attempt to keep these fellers working Freddy handed them a bucket of rejected post holes that weren't 100% stable and told them to just kinda drop one or two as needed so they would have to come back and fix up the road. So as you can see the intent was good but well kinda like the cool breeze things got a little out of hand especially when the bucket got knocked over in a tornado and some of them holes got tossed about everywhere.

Now you know one of the true stories {according to Pa Moonshine} why even the best of intentions don't always end up well.


*Pa Moonshine is the 100% the creation of well lets just say the Moonshine Family {I aint taking all the blame} and the name of Freddy Forkel Fudpucker came from Lew Broughten and the backstory once again falls on my shoulder with contribution coming from late nights and watchfires at The Vietnam Veterans Memorial Moving Wall.

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